Most weekends, I get up before dawn to walk in a green space in my neighborhood. Our subdivision sits on what used to be a farm, so there’s a lovely large field with paths leading down to a wooded area by the river. It’s incredible that so few people use the space, although I’m not exactly unhappy to have it all to myself.
A few Saturdays ago as I perched on my customary boulder, I noticed something unusual in a shallow section of water flowing over another large, flat rock: dozens of tiny fish, no more than an inch long, swimming furiously against the current. Going absolutely nowhere.
Can y’all see them?
Why were they working so hard to head the wrong way? I mean, we’re not talking salmon at spawning time here, and they were too small to travel a long distance anyway. I confess I became a bit obsessed, watching them. They just wouldn’t stop – it went on for like, 20 minutes, maybe longer. Ever so often, one would venture a bit too far away from the shallows and get swept away. Silly fish. What was going on?
Upon closer observation, I finally figured it out – they weren’t really swimming. I mean, they were, but that wasn’t the objective. The fish were feeding on what I suppose must have been microscopic algae on the rock. Had they turned the other direction to swim with the flow of the river, there’s no way they could have held their places long enough to suck up a single bite. They were, in effect, going against the the prevailing current to get what they needed.
Sometimes when we see someone doing something that seems totally contradictory to what makes sense, what “goes with the flow,” we’re tempted to tell them how they should do it. A colleague might share how they bounce from task to unrelated task all day at work, or how they check email or respond to Slack every ten minutes. Maybe before we even ponder whether or not they’re successful, we’re all-in with the advice:
“You know you really ought to time block, and group similar tasks together, like I do. You’re making things harder for yourself. And quit checking your messages so much! It’s got to be wreaking havoc with your productivity.”
Never mind that 1. they’ve had the top sales numbers for six months in a row, and 2. they didn’t ask you in the first place.
Or maybe we don’t trust our own flow/counterflow, comparing it to someone else’s experience. We read something some organizing or productivity guru wrote and figure it must be gospel, even if our intuition is screaming that it makes no sense for us. In my book, when I’m describing the L.E.S.S. method, I talk about keeping the items you sort into a “Relocate” container together until you’re ready to move them to other rooms all at once. In my mind, going about it this way keeps someone from wandering into another potential organizing area and getting distracted. But I’ve had a few people challenge me on that premise, because moving to and fro, putting stuff away as they go helps them work with restless energy. The movement from space to space supports them in staying on track, and it totally works.
It’s good to be challenged.
Those fish followed instinct too, of course. No one told them, “Hey, Fishy Friends, you should be swimming the other way if you want to get anywhere in this life.” Even if someone had, I doubt they would have listened. Maybe the takeaway is that sometimes it’s necessary to push the contrary way to get what’s needed, regardless of how it looks to innocent bystanders (or rock-sitters).
Where are the spaces and places in your life that benefit from resistance to the natural, or expected flow of things?
My happy place at the river at dawn. You might find some more pretty shots over on Instagram @saraorganizes. 😉
What a beautiful “happy place” that you have right in your own backyard. Inspiration abounds, as evident by your post. When I first started reading, I thought maybe this would be about a new meditation- ‘fish meditation.’ Because sitting on a rock for 20 minutes staring at fish certainly could be meditative. And maybe it was. But your message from your ‘sitting’ is so powerful. Asking the questions about what’s really going on? What’s really working? And most importantly, what’s really working for you? Because we don’t always understand or think about the whole story and might be missing something significant- like the little fish eating or the client that doesn’t want to consolidate stuff into a group before rerouting. Digging a little deeper into what we think we see or do is so valuable.
Well, I guess I could do a fish meditation – I’m liking that idea! I think it’s also about taking enough time to get some perspective on a situation, being patient with the way we or someone else works through a challenge. Thanks for the comments, Linda.
This post made me think about how often I will come across an object with a client that seems odd or out of place, and yet how many times there is a VERY good reason for that object’s presence. We are all diverse, coming up with solutions that work for us. I love that! People, and I guess “wee fishes,” are fairly logical. I never want to fix a system that isn’t broken. Rather, I want to honor whatever solution that have found and help it to work even better.
This was such a fun post to read. Nice spot to walk!
Logical, yes, if they or we are patient enough to trust that logic. I run into so many situations where someone doubts a system they’ve created, even though it’s working perfectly well. Too many competing messages out in the world – which is why I think watching nature can be so powerful. Fish don’t scroll Instagram. 😉
Your happy place is absolutely gorgeous. I’m sure you feel calm and at peace there. How serene!
While reading your inspiring post, my take away is that things aren’t always what they appear to be. Also, going against the flow might just be what someone needs to do to get the results they want, to be the person they want. I equate it to thinking outside the box which can have the most amazing results.
Yes, it’s a great place to think – or not think, as the case may be. Thanks for the comment, Ronni!
I miss your tweeted morning photos, but I love this reflection on your experiences. There are all sorts of “rules” for living which I respect, but do not necessary follow. The most obvious of which is the whole “morning routine” meta-trend; I will never abide by the morning miracle. I’m just not a morning person. My energy picks up as the day goes on, and I’m happy to use what tiny bit of morning to which I avail myself as mellow, quiet, non-productive time; usually, I’ve more than made up for it in the post-midnight hours before I finally went to bed, allowing me to “start” my day having already squared away some wins. We wee fishies can delight in knowing that if something works for us, we needn’t defend it to others; we can just keep doing it!
I knew someone a while back who felt like an oddball (or – “fish out of water?” – heh) because they couldn’t really get their brain and body online until about 9:30 in the morning. They felt judged, which I thought was completely unfair considering how successful they were. It sounds like you’ve fully embraced your own rhythms, and clearly making it all work for you. I’ve actually always been envious of people who could stay up late and get all kinds of things accomplished. I’m a complete pumpkin by 9:00pm.
I love the relocate container method. I do the same thing. I have a bin near the stairs that I use to transport stuff upstairs or downstairs. It’s very helpful having a system in place to manage stuff that do not have a home on the main floor. Thanks for sharing.
Every home needs an upstairs/downstairs basket or bin! Unless, of course, they don’t have stairs. 😀 Thanks for stopping by, Sabrina!
I love that you sat there at peace and wondered at the why of the behavior of the fishes. Diane Quintana and I are great proponents of observing and discovering the why with our clients and ourselves.
It takes patience, sometimes, to tease out the “why.” And it always makes a difference. Thanks for the comment, Jonda.
Back in my office admin days, I found a lot of the productivity advice hard to follow because my roles needed me to be responsive to other people’s needs. As much as I would like to batch tasks, if I didn’t check email regularly, I may have missed an urgent request. I was always told I was good at my job, so I must have been doing something right.
However, I didn’t like working in that reactionary method, which is why I chose to switch careers. 😉
Great that you could be flexible, and also recognize what wasn’t working for you (even if you could do it well).
I wish I had a beautiful walking path like yours. One point of resistance I had to learn was when teaching my kids things and giving them responsibilities when they were young. I had to resist “just doing it myself”, because the whole point was to teach them what and how to do it, so they would grow to be independent.
I’m very grateful to have that space so close by. And yes, letting kids do things their own way is quite a lesson, isn’t it? Best thing I ever did is teach mine to do laundry as soon as they were old enough to push the button (even if it was hard to watch them cram absolutely everything in at one time).
Thank you for your encouragement to have compassion for self as I discover my flow!