Once upon a time…  wait, no…
Last night I dreamt I went to…  no, no… that’s not quite it…
Marley was dead, to begin with…  oh that’s totally not it either…
Welcome, foolish mortals, to the ha…  argh!!
You’ve been here before.
OK, that’s it.
With apologies to Stephen King*, you have indeed been here before. You’ve procrastinated on something, again. You think you’re the only one who waits until the last minute. You’re alone in your dark little chasm of discomfort, and no one else is to blame, and no one can get you out of the horror story but you. When I’m talking with clients and others, I’m aware that there are other kinds of stories that people tell themselves. Take, for example, the idea that “other people,” or even worse, “normal people” (whatever that means) never struggle with procrastination.
Y’all.
Go on Amazon, filter for “books,” and search “procrastination.” There are over 10,000 results. Are we really thinking that 10,000+ books have been written for a subject that affects only you?
Of course I procrastinate. Recently I’d been putting off this interminably dull book I have to read for a class I’m in (it shall remain nameless). But actually, was it really dull? It’s not like me to put off reading a book. Was I perhaps a little intimidated and afraid I wouldn’t understand it? Or, would I start to understand it, and would I change my mind about some things? It made me feel all kinds of discomfort to contemplate it, and so it sat – sad and lonely in my office for days (with a deadline looming). The stall monster was, for a time, bigger than my ability to push through.
We tell ourselves all sorts of stories – “Oh, I have plenty of time,” “I’m just not ready,” “I don’t have the right ________,” “I’ll probably get it all wrong so what’s the point,” etc. Then we’re living in a bit of a self-created dream world, and it gets bigger and darker the further we take it. Riffing on my title this week, I did some exhaustive, ridiculous research about A Nightmare on Elm Street that revealed how the monster – Freddie – is defeated. Side note: I can’t handle slasher movies despite my love of creepy, Halloween-y stuff, so I’ve never seen any of the series. But I learned that in at least one iteration (seriously…there were nine?), he’s eliminated by being pulled out of the dreams and into reality. Hmm.
Scientists believe actual nightmares serve a purpose (I believe they do as well). There are many theories. Since the images in nightmares frequently make little sense, I tend to follow the school of thought that they bring up symbols from the subconscious to help us move forward in waking life. In some instances of lucid dreaming, a dreamer can face the scary thing and see it transformed into something much less overwhelming. The stories we create around what we’re putting off rarely make a lot of sense, either.
Those 10,000 books likely all have some good tidbits in them. But when I think about my pushed-off task and talk to (or write to) myself about it a little, I can check in with what I know is real vs. the story (“Reading that big, complex thing is going to be boring.” ):
I know that there’s a fair chance I won’t be able to just sit down and binge it for a couple of hours. I’ll probably read a paragraph or two, and then I’ll need to stop, think, and process. I might have to change my pattern, and I don’t like changing my patterns. OK, now there’s a little more clarity. It’s not so much about boredom, but me needing to shift my normal. So, what if I tried just looking at the preface first?
Or another thing I like to play with – what if I looked at the last pages to see where the whole thing goes? I kind of like to cheat and jump to the ending. Now I’m off and running – it’s actually not dull at all, nor is it too much for me to wrap my head around if I take it a little slower. I’m approaching the situation differently.
Yes, I finally started reading. I don’t think the shoes are really my look.
Sometimes, it is a fright to come face to face with your stalling, but we’ve all been here before. What’s the story or nightmare that’s gotten built up around the things you’ve been putting off? What could pull you into reality that lurks behind your procrastination?
Oh, and by the way…Happy Halloween. 🎃
*OK, anyone who can guess where all of these opening lines come from wins…well, wins the comment section. No fair Googling. Ready, set…
Fear is my big hurdle – I procrastinate when I fear .. it will take longer than I want it to, the person I’m speaking to will want information from me I don’t have, I fear the response if I ask the tough questions, I won’t have the tools I need to —. I work past my fears by making a ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen list’ and then giving myself a hard and fast deadline. I like your twist of shifting the perspective and doing something a little differently. Yup – procrastination strikes everyone, the challenge is moving past it.
I think when we take it all the way, fear is almost always at the bottom of it. Your “what’s the worst thing?” tactic reminds me of something from one of my favorite books about fear – What’s the worst thing? I might look silly. OK, THEN what’s the worst thing? Then I’ll feel incompetent. OK, THEN what’s the worst thing?…and so on. Great for really getting to the heart of things. Thanks for stopping by, Diane!
I often procrastinate because I would rather be doing something else. Two things come into play that halt my procrastination – 1. I simply do not want to put this task on my “to do” list one more time and 2. Fear of what will happen if I don’t do it. Thanks for the great insights!
Thanks for the comment, Jonda. Interesting – I’m realizing reading that book didn’t even make it ON to my to do list. Maybe it was more like A Nightmare on Denial Street for me.
Well, I know the Marley one is from A Christmas Carol, but not the others. Fun and lighthearted look at the procrastination issue. You are so right that we all procrastinate some things. I also put off the “unpleasant.” I’m laughing at the image of the skeleton in the dress and shoes. Too funny, and so perfect for Halloween!!
Ding, ding, ding! That’s one opening line down, anyway. I’ll hold off on sharing the other ones for now. 😉 Also, I was kind of impressed that my stock photo search for “skeleton procrastinating” produced that picture.
My sense is that I procrastinate because I want to finish whatever I start in one go. So your reminder that I can break up a task and do it in chunks is spot on.
I don’t like the “getting reacquainted” time that stopping and starting a task involves, but surely that’s so much better than never getting acquainted at all!
Getting reacquainted – that’s such a nice way to put it. Better than “transition time.” Like, “Oh, hello Scary Task, how are we feeling about things today?” I might try having a less combative conversation with my book now. Thanks, Lucy!
Fun post. I think for me the biggest hurdle is doing something I dread, either because it is uncomfortable, unpleasant, or takes time I’m not willing to spend. I love the idea of looking deeper at what’s preventing you from acting and then looking for ways to work around your issues.
In general, I don’t procrastinate. But when I do, a big warning sound goes off (in my head.) I know it’s an indicator for something. And that ‘something’ varies. It could be that I really don’t want to do that task, project, meeting, engagement, or fill in the blank. It could mean that the “thing” seems so big and unwieldy that I’ve talked myself out of it before I even start. Or, I might be missing one piece of the puzzle that makes it seem like the other 99 pieces are irrelevant.
The good news is once I hear the ‘ding, ding’ sound, I know it’s time to investigate what’s going on. Once I have the awareness, I’m able to move into making a decision, resulting in an action. In some cases, I opt to NOT do that thing and let it go. In other instances, I find my path forward.
So glad you found your way forward with your book.
P.S. Great seeing you at the ICD conference. I wished we had more time together in one of the networking sessions.
Such a good point that sometimes it’s good to not do the thing – sometimes it’s just excess that needs to be pruned out of the schedule (like some of that Quadrant III stuff). And yes, it was so good to see you, even if virtually! Hopefully we’ll be at an in person conference together sometime soon!
Once upon a time — Fairy Tales
Last night I dreamt I went to— duMaurier’s Rebecca (but it always reminds me of the old Maidenform print ads: “I dreamed I…in my Maidenform bra!”)
Marley was dead, to begin with — Dickens’ A Christmas Carol
Welcome, foolish mortals — Yikes, at first I was thinking of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but that’s “What fools these mortals be.” I mixed my mortals! (I know it’s the welcome message at Disney’s Haunted Mansion, but that’s not a book.)
I loved this post and I agreed with every word. Personally, I’m good at pushing past procrastination for big things, breaking them down into tiny steps. What I do? I procrastinate on things I know will take little time but have an annoyance factor. So, this morning, I went to have a fasting blood test I’ve been procrastinating on for three months (because I need the results for a doctor’s appointment on Monday). Actual effort required? Minimal. Effort expended on procrastination? Huge.
Julie wins the comment contest! I knew. I KNEW, Julie. I knew you would be the person to get most or all of them! The haunted mansion was a little bit of a trick, but all the lines are from things that are my faves in one way or another. “You’ve been here before,” is from Needful Things. Anyway, the annoyance factor is definitely something to think about – I’m annoyed that I still haven’t finished that silly book, but I’m plugging away.
Procrastination can visit even the best of us. I’m not immune, unfortunately. 😊 I do try to figure out why I’m stalling so I can figure out my next step.
And, then I take some small action to move forward. I know that once I start seeing some progress, I will get motivated and may even do a little more. Sometimes, I visualize myself doing the thing I’m putting off. And think about how amazing I will feel after I start. And finish!